Holy hell. This dog is a rebel.
I bet this dog has a leather jacket. I bet this dog carries a switchblade that he never uses but he sometimes pulls out and flicks open to let people know he might use it. I bet teachers are always like “What’s your problem, buddy?” and this dog is all “This WHOLE TOWN is my problem, teach!” I bet this dog smokes cigarettes and rolls the pack up in his t-shirt sleeve like Marlon Brando. I bet this dog rides a motorcycle. I bet this dog tells girl dogs that he’s “not the settling down type,” but they try to fix him anyway and end up heartbroken. I bet this dog is secretly really sensitive and damaged because his dad ran out on him and his mom, but whenever people try to figure him out he’s all “You ask too many questions.”
I bet this dog keeps a flask in his jacket at all times. I bet there are rumors that this dog killed a guy, but no one knows for sure and no one is brave enough to ask. I bet whenever this dog shows up at a party the record scratches and everybody turns to look at him. I bet this dog challenges people to car races down Dead Man’s Curve and never loses. I bet this dog hangs out in a pool hall. I bet whenever this dog rolls into the convenience store with his pals the owner is all “Hey, now I don’t want any trouble here, OK?” even though none of them said anything, because their reputation precedes them. I bet eventually this dog will learn that there are people in this world who care about him and when he does he will break down and cry for an hour. But, for now, keep your distance. I hear this dog is looking for trouble and he’s hellbent on finding it.
All other images via Obsessive Corgi Disorder
Listen To This
