Louie (FX) – The third season debuts tonight, finally. It feels like we’ve been talking about it for weeks (because we have), so I’m officially 100% stoked and ready for the premiere. Also, tonight will mark the beginning of a six month period where I have the show’s theme stuck in my head 70-80% of the time. I’m OK with that.
The NBA Draft (ESPN) – I love the NBA Draft so much. SO MUCH. Every year I spend hours and hours researching which players I think my precious Philadelphia 76ers should take, and then they never select any of them and I throw a total sh-tfit. Sports are great. (NOTE: Live discussion at With Leather tonight.)
Anger Management/Wilfred (FX) – Charlie Sheen’s new FX series debuts tonight, too. My review is that I’m not going to watch it because Charlie Sheen is a huge dildo and I have no interest in supporting anything he is involved in except the first Major League movie.
Burn Notice/Suits (USA) – Josh usually handles the Thursday night listings, so I haven’t gotten to go on my “Suits” rant this season. Here it is: every character on the show is kind of unlikable except Harvey’s secretary, Donna. Even the main character stole his best friend’s girlfriend and then played kissyface at the office with the paralegal who looks like Stacey Dash. But Donna? Donna can stay.
Duets/Wipeout/Take Me Out/The Choice (ABC, FOX) – Nope/nope/nope/nope.
Brand X With Russell Brand (FX) – Listen here, FX. I love you guys. I really do. You’re responsible for stuff like “Justified” and “Louie,” and for that you have my undying gratitude, so I am going to choose my next words very carefully: please stop this show as soon as possible. Thanks.
The Daily Show (Comedy Central) – Given everything that happened today, I imagine this show could be pretty, pretty interesting tonight.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Howie Mandel, Chris Bosh, and Linkin Park on Kimmel; Blake Lively and Drew Brees on Letterman; Denis Leary on Ferguson; Tyler Perry and Rhys “I’m Wiry” Ifans on Leno; Channing Tatum; Oliver Stone, and Maroon 5 on Fallon; and Mark Wahlberg and Warming Glow’s favorite man on the street Billy Eichner on Conan.