You know what? Screw it. Let’s all go to Maui.
Seriously, let’s all go. Like, now. Just leave all your stuff at your desk, run home, grab a bathing suit and toothbrush, drive straight to the airport, and book a flight. All of you. I’ll handle the reservations. How do you guys feel about The Four Seasons? I think it looks nice. Sure, we may have to shack up 3-4 to a room and share beds (NO CO-ED ROOMS WITHOUT A NOTE FROM YOUR PARENTS), but this could really work, gang. Granted, I’m all dumptrucked on sinus medicine, so, you know, factor that in. But it’s raining, and it’s Friday, and everything is terrible today, and dammit I just want to go to Maui.
I mean, think about it. By this time tomorrow we could all be sitting by the pool in scenic Hawaii, umbrella drink in hand, surrounded by lush, green mountains, the soothing sounds of the Pacific lulling us closer and closer toward our second nap of the afternoon. We can have beautiful hula dancers (or cabana boys, depending on your preference) fan us with palm leaves and bring us trays of fresh fruit. “Pineapple? Don’t mind if I do,” we’d say as we poke a giant yellow wedge with a toothpick. “Mmmmm. You can’t get anything like that on the mainland.” Then we’d drift back into our world of midday, rum-soaked dreams.
As for the activities, we can have Josh organize a team volleyball tournament for the athletic types, and Dustin can lead all the nature lovers on a nice morning hike up the side of an active volcano. The view from the top is breathtaking, I hear. Me? I’ll be setting up the First Annual Warming Glow Hawaiian Karaoke Contest. DIBS ON “SUSPICIOUS MINDS”! That’s my specialty. Who knows, maybe we can even coax Ufford to come along. He loves a nice, relaxing vacation. The whole Warming Glow family, together at last for a week of stress-free fun in the sun.
So, yeah. Maui.
I want more like this!
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