BREAKING: Jimmy Fallon Is Either Hosting Or Not Hosting The Oscars

The LA Times reported yesterday that Late Night host Jimmy Fallon was in talks to host the 2013 Oscars. Supposedly, the outgoing Motion Picture Academy president, Tom Sherak, reached out to Lorne Michaels to serve as producer, who would then bring in Fallon to host. This despite (a) the fact that the incoming president (in this case, Michaels’ Wayne’s World co-producer Hawk Koch) usually handles the selection of the next host, and (b) ABC, the network carrying the broadcast, strenuously objected because Fallon is a direct competitor of their own late-night host, Jimmy Kimmel, who is unable to host the Oscars because he is already hosting this year’s Emmy Awards. DRAMA.

Kind of.

Not long after posting the story, the LA Times updated it to include a quote from Sherak that he had been given essentially veto-proof power to select the next host two months ago, but he couldn’t finalize all the details before his term ended. (Also, Nikki Finke took a big ol’ finger-wagging sanctimonious dump on the whole thing, as she is prone to do.) So it looks like we are back to where we were yesterday: not knowing the name of the white man in a tuxedo who will host a ceremony that takes place over six months from now. Hopefully our nation can band together in this time of great uncertainly and take solace in the fact that whoever hosts next year’s Oscars will almost certainly do a better job than Billy Crystal and his “This Chinese Food Is Over A Week Old, Do You Think It Will Still Taste OK If We Heat It Up In The Microwave?” performance from this year.

In conclusion, learning that the current president of the Motion Picture Academy is a former Wayne’s World producer named “Hawk Koch” is easily the best thing to happen to me in the last 10-12 months.

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