Shark Week kicks off this Sunday on the Discovery Channel, and to ramp up the excitement they have started releasing previews from some of this year’s new shows, like the latest in the Air Jaws series, Air Jaws: Apocalypse. TV Guide has an exclusive clip (which I can’t embed here because they think they’re so cool, but whatever, I found another clip and posted it below) of some shark scientists tracking a 14-foot, South African shark named Colossus who jumps like 10 feet out of the water to attack seals and yup I’m having a panic attack now.
Look at that thing. I’ve said this many times, but sharks are such perfectly crafted predators that they essentially haven’t had to evolve over the last million years. Think about that. While almost every other animal on the Earth has changed to adapt to their surroundings in some way in an attempt to gain an advantage over other creatures in the food chain, sharks just kept doing the exact same damn thing and suffered next to no consequences for it. They are basically just scaled-down dinosaurs who have a set of steak knives for teeth and do nothing but hunt and kill and look terrifying. No thank you. Absolutely not.
In summation, please consider this your periodic reminder that the ocean is full of monsters and should be avoided at all costs.