Alphas (SyFy, 8 p.m.) — You know how cows can tell when it’s going to rain? Do nerds have the same ability, but for Summer Glau? Except instead of sitting down, their boners go into overdrive when they just know she’s going to be on TV? The answer is: yes, we do.
Adventure Time (Cartoon, 7:30 p.m.) — “A sleep-peeping Lemongrab bothers Bubblegum with his creepy ways.” Adventure Time episode descriptions could become porn plots without changing a word.
CFL Football: Edmonton Eskimos at Toronto Argonauts (NBC Sports, 7:30 p.m) — A perfect representation of summer TV. Can the NFL and good shows be back soon, please? Thanx.
Grimm (NBC, 10 p.m.) — Tonight’s episode is named after CCR’s “Bad Moon Rising.” As in, it’s called “Bad Moon Rising.” C’mon, Grimm, you’re better than that (I think?). “Bad Goon Rising” was right there for the taking.
The Inbetweeners (MTV, 10:30 p.m.) — Is the fat kid impersonating Jonah Hill in Superbad, or is it an “homage”?
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Jake Gyllenhaal and Sharon Osbourne on Letterman; Dennis Miller and Kate Flannery on Leno; Kristen Bell on Ferguson; and Dax Shepard, Wendy Williams, and Silversun Pickups on Conan.