Well you just knew that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert would have something to say about scary Jack-O-Lantern Donald Trump’s hilarious P.T. Barnum/Geraldo Rivera impression yesterday. Stewart touched on it quickly using a video clip of a gorilla eating its own feces. Colbert, meanwhile, was moved to make Trump a counteroffer.
“Nation, I am so moved by this generous offer, that I’d like to make an offer of my own,” Colbert announced. “Mr Trump, I will write you a check for $1 million dollars from Colbert Super PAC — you know I’ve got it — to the charity of your choice…Save The Children. Feed The Children. Put The Children on Child Apprentice, whatever…One million actual dollars, if you will let me dip my balls in your mouth. One million.”
Colbert then went on to lay out the Trump-esque conditions of his generous offer.
“But…this dipping — and I hope you’re listening very carefully Mr Trump — this dipping has to be to my and more importantly, my balls’ satisfaction. One caveat…My balls must be in your mouth no later than 5pm October 31st.”
Closing out his pitch, Colbert added: “Nothing would make America happier than to have something going into your mouth than coming out of it.”
And here’s the aforementioned Daily Show clip…