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Corgi Friday: Beware Of Dogasaurus

By / 10.19.12

Inside a high-tech laboratory on a mostly uninhabited island, where a billionaire and a team of scientists have cloned a small number of dinosaurs and allowed them to roam free with hundreds of dogs, in the hopes that the dinosaurs will adopt the dogs’ carefree, gentle demeanor. Their goal is to eventually domesticate the dinosaurs, and market them as pets for absurdly wealthy children. Unless. of course, something goes wrong…

BILLIONAIRE: I’ve been present for the birth of every little creature on this island.

COOL SCIENTIST: [wearing sick leather jacket] Surely not the ones that are bred in the wild?

ASIAN SCIENTIST FROM LAW & ORDER: SVU: Actually they can’t breed in the wild. Population control is one of our security precautions. There’s no unauthorized breeding on the island.

COOL SCIENTIST: How do you know they can’t breed?

ASIAN SCIENTIST FROM LAW & ORDER: SVU: Well, because all the dogs and dinosaurs on the island are female. We’ve engineered them that way.

COOL SCIENTIST: But again, how do you know they’re all female? Does somebody go out into the park and pull up the dogs’ and dinosaurs’ skirts?

ASIAN SCIENTIST FROM LAW & ORDER: SVU: We control their chromosomes. It’s really not that difficult. All vertebrate embryos are inherently female anyway, they just require an extra hormone given at the right developmental stage to make them male. We simply deny them that.

COOL SCIENTIST: The kind of control you’re attempting simply is… it’s not possible. If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it’s that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, uh… well, there it is.

BILLIONAIRE: There it is.

ASIAN SCIENTIST FROM LAW & ORDER: SVU: You’re implying that a group composed entirely of female dogs and dinosaurs will… breed? And create some sort of terrifying dog/dinosaur hybrid? A Dogasaurus, perhaps?

COOL SCIENTIST: No, I’m, I’m simply saying that life, uh… finds a way.

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TAGSCORGI FRIDAYdogasaurusDogsJURASSIC PARKshoutout to jeff goldblum

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