Reason #289 To Hate Dwight Howard: Crying Before His Laker Debut
Dramatic Bike Crash Reaction

Holy Crap Tila Tequila Has Gone Insane

By / 10.22.12

OK: more crazy. Back in August, I put together a post about how, according to whack jobs on the Internet, the Illuminati has infiltrated every show ever. Obviously. The Simpsons, Breaking Bad, and Game of Thrones were all mentioned, but there’s one I forgot to include: A Shot at Love II with Tila Tequila. Noted-ICP fan Tequila wrote a long, rambling, incoherent post yesterday on her website, claiming that a “bunch of old, ugly, rich, evil COWARDS [are] hiding while [the Illuminati] send out our young, beautiful boys here in AMERICA and TRAIN THEM TO BE MURDERERS TRICKING THEM INTO THINKING THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND WHEN REALLY YOU ASSHOLES LIED TO EVERYONE.” Uppercase, hers.

Evidently, Tequila has been fighting Satan’s armies for some time now, but this is a new level of crazy, even for someone whose resume includes the words Pants-Off Dance-Off, “I F*cked the DJ (I Love My DJ),” and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry as a Hooters Girl.

From Freedom Fighters:

Please excuse my extremely explicit letter to “THE OTHERS” as I have had enough so I just wanted to tell you guys before you read further so please don’t get offended. I don’t usually talk this way but again, this is a letter for “THE OTHERS” so please go ahead and stop reading at this point because my letter to them is NOT pretty. Love you! Now let me get back to my letter to those pricks because I know they are reading this now! Their time is running out. I’m sick of their bullsh*t and f*cking with humanity’s lives as if we are just a bunch of disposable toys to them! Time for a REVOLUTION and also time for my “HOLY GRAIL” website to finally launch soon! F*ck them! Yes, you, “THE OTHERS” and you KNOW we, the people, are going to win this time. We are all sick and tired of your sh*t. You want a War? Ok let’s get ready for one, but only if YOU yourself participate and not act like a bunch of old, ugly, rich, evil COWARDS hiding while you send out our young, beautiful boys here in AMERICA and TRAIN THEM TO BE MURDERERS TRICKING THEM INTO THINKING THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND WHEN REALLY YOU ASSHOLES LIED TO EVERYONE! I DECLARE A WAR BUT NO SOLDIERS, JUST ME, THE PEOPLE, AND ALL OF YOU SO CALLED ILLUMINATI, ELITIST COWARDS! I HAVE ALL YOUR SECRETS, I AM MUCH WISER THAN I WAS BACK THEN WHEN YOU F*CKED ME OVER SO BAD I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO JUST DIE FROM ALL THE PAIN YOU ORCHESTRATED AND INFLICTED UPON MY SOUL! MY TILA ARMY AND THE WORLD AT LARGE HAS YOU WAAAAAAAAY OUT NUMBERED!!

AND BELIEVE ME, ALTHOUGH THE MASSES DON’T KNOW THAT SUPER HUMANS REALLY DO EXIST, WELL I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WE DO SO WE DON’T NEED WEAPONS TO DESTROY YOU! GO ON.. SHOULD I TELL THEM ABOUT THE SUPER HUMANS THAT EXIST AND ALL OF THOSE EXPERIMENTS YOU DO ON THEM TO USE THEIR POWERS FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT? SHOULD I TELL THEM THAT IS WHY SO MANY “MISSING CHILDREN” POP UP EACH YEAR BECAUSE YOU SADISTIC F*CKS WERE THE ONES BEHIND IT??! AGAIN, THERE ARE STILL PLENTY OF US OUT HERE WITH SUPER POWERS AND I WILL GATHER THEM ALL TOGETHER AND YOU EVIL PRICKS ARE ALL GOING DOWN!!!

UNLESS YOU STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND FIX ALL THE WRONG YOU DID TO MANKIND, FIX THE EARTH THAT YOU RUINED, THEN I AM SURE THERE WILL NOT BE ANYMORE FRICTIONS AND HATRED BETWEEN US GOOD GUYS AND YOU EVIL PRICKS! SO WHAT IF YOU ARE ALIEN HYBRID? THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU OWN US! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THERE ARE ABOUT AT LEAST 100 DIFFERENT TYPES OF ALIEN HYBRIDS ON PLANET EARTH RIGHT NOW AND WE ARE ALL WAKING UP HONEY! PREPARE FOR WAR. I HAVE OFFICIALLY DECLARED IT.

AGAIN, I TELL YOU IN ADVANCE I HAVE NO WEAPONS, I AM NO TERRORIST, I LOVE THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, AND THE ONY WEAPON I HAVE TO GO TO WAR WITH YOU F*CKS ARE MY NATURAL SUPER HUMAN ABILITIES AS WELL.

TIME IS RUNNING OUT AND I DONT CARE ANYMORE WHAT YOU DO TO TRY TO MAKE ME LOOK CRAZY! I AM TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW THAT WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU AND I HAVE BEEN ON THIS PLANET FOR A VERY LONG TIME! AND YES I AM WELL AWARE THAT THIS LETTER MAY MAKE ME SEEM BIZARRE BUT AT THIS POINT I DON’T EVEN CARE ANYMORE! THIS IS ABOUT YOU, NOT THEM!

SHALL I GO INTO TELLING THE PEOPLE HOW YOU KEPT WATCHING ME MY ENTIRE LIFE EVEN BEFORE I WAS BORN? AND INDEED YOU SENT THOSE 3 MAN MADE GREYS TO TRY TO SCARE ME AND PLOT SOME TYPE OF ARTIFICIAL ABDUCTION! HA! VERY CLEVER HUNNY BUT I DIDN’T FALL FOR THAT SH*T, AS BELIEVABLE AS THEY WERE AND EVEN ALMOST GOT ME FLYING BACKWARDS INTO THE YELLOW BLAST THAT KEPT PULLING ME UP AND AWAY… TRYING SOOOOO HARD TO STEAL MY SOUL! AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU DID IT WHILE COURTENAY WAS RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!!! SHE KNOWS WHAT YOU DID THAT NIGHT.

BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW, YOU KNOWWWW THAT I HAVE MY PEOPLE ALSO WATCHING OVER YOU! AS LONG AS I AM ALIVE, AS LONG AS GOD IS IN MY HEART, AS LONG AS MY KIND CONTINUES TO PROTECT ME, THEN YOU CANNOT DO SH*T TO ME!

AS FOR EVERYONE ELSE I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR MY CURSING AS YOU GUYS KNOW I AM NEVER THIS WAY NOR DO I SPEAK THIS WAY TO ANYONE… ONLY WHEN SOMETHING TRAUMATIC HAPPENS SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANY OF YOU WITH SO MANY F-BOMBS!!! BUT THIS LETTER IS FOR THE OTHERS. I DONT USUALLY AGREE WITH SUCH LANGUAGE BUT THOSE PRICKS DON’T DESERVE MY RESPECT!!!

SHALL I CONTINUE??? YEAH SURE WE KNOW ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND BUNKERS… OLD NEWS. BUT SHALL I TELL THE PEOPLE ABOUT THE ENTIRE CITY INSIDE THE HOLLOW EARTH??? SHALL I TELL THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CAME HERE AND LEFT YOUR OWN PLANET TO INFILTRATE OURS AND NOW SOME OF YOU STILL CURRENTLY RESIDE ON THE MOON!

SHALL I TELL THEM THAT THE SO CALLED “MOON” IS ACTUALLY WHERE SOME OF YOU STILL RESIDE TO WATCH OVER US, AND THE MOON IS ACTUALLY YOUR BASE. OH LET ME NOT GO INTO HOW YOU TOTALLY F*CKED THE TRUE HISTORY OF THE NATIVE AFRICAN AMERICAN PEOPLE!!!!!! THEY WERE ACTUALLY ONCE VERY ADVANCED AND LOVING BEINGS UNTIL YOU CAME HERE AND FUCKED THEM ALL UP JUST LIKE YOU’RE DOING TO US NOW.

BUT GUESS WHAT? DO YOU KNOW WHO I SAW WHEN I DIED 7 TIMES???? MIND YOU I GREW UP BUDDHIST BUT I NEVER GOT INTO RELIGION MUCH, BUT IM JUST GOING TO SAY IT ANYWAY, ON THE 7TH NEAR DEATH I ACTUALLY SAW THE MAN. YEP. SOMEONE I NEVER KNEW ABOUT. SOMEONE I WAS NOT FAMILIAR WITH. SO I COULDN’T BELIEVE IN HIM BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW THE STORY BEHIND HIM!

BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK I SAW THE 7TH TIME I DIED EARLIER THIS YEAR????? FOR 3 DAYS I CROSSED OVER AND WAS SHOWN MANY THINGS, THEN ON THE 3RD DAY….. I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT BUT I SAW THE MAN! YEP! THE ONE I DIDN’T USED TO BELIEVE IN BEFORE BUT HE CAME TO ME AND HE IS DEFINITELY REAL!!

SORRY FOR THIS RANT, BUT SOMETHING JUST HAPPENED AND I JUST CAN’T BE TOO NICE ALL THE TIME TO THOSE EVIL ONES ANYMORE WITH WHAT ELSE I JUST FOUND OUT THEY ARE DOING TO KILL US ALL!! US INNOCENT PEOPLE! HOW DARE YOU!?

ANYWAY THIS LETTER WAS FOR “THE OTHERS” SO PLEASE DIS-REGARD THIS MESSAGE AS YOU GUYS KNOW I WOULD NEVER SPEAK TO YOU THIS WAY! I AM ON YOUR SIDE NOT THEIRS! PLEASE DIS-REGARD AND DONT WORRY, BUT “THE OTHERS” KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT! Again I feel horrible for having you guys see me this way, but sometimes when cowards hide, and only watch me from afar, well, the only way I can get my message straight to them is through here. I’m sorry guys hope I didn’t get any of you upset or anything! *HUGS* But “THE OTHERS” ohhh that’s a different story! People in the WHITE HOUSE are even stalking my pages! LOL Yes I know cuz I can track your IP addresses just like you track mine and my phone etc….Tell those Senators in DC I said HI! and Thanks for dropping by my page. Never knew you were such a fan of “TILA TEQUILA” who would have ever thought I’d be your worst nightmare? F*CK YOU! At least I’m not scared to show my face. At least I speak 100% TRUTH even if SOME o the things I say may come off sounding crazy, but at least I’m not afraid and as long as YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW, that is all there needs to be said… for now.. Anyway.

GOD BLESS! And trust me, at the rate you’re going you’re gonna need some God BLessing your sins hunny!

Sincerely

Miss Tila -The Bitch who annoys the crap out of you cuz I’ll keep calling you out to protect the people that you kill everyday! And oh yea… next time you wanna make a stupid ass amateur video of me being “ANONYMOUS” maybe I wouldn’t laugh so hard if you actually talked on it instead of using some robot who can’t even read! LMAO! Later f*ck heads. Come and get me! As I’m on my tour, at the end of my shows I get on stage, get on the mic and scream out to the crowd “F*CK FACEBOOK, F*CK THE ILLUMINATI, WE ARE HERE AND THEY CAN’T DO SH*T!!!!! Then EVERYONE STARTS CHEERING! I guess there’s a LOT of people that HATE YOUR GUTS RIGHT NOW…. Didn’t take me much to get everyone to cheer while I called you cowards out LIVE, IN PERSON, ON STAGE.. as opposed to HIDING like you do. You’re pathetic beyond belief. Quite laughable at this point hunny! (Via)

Yeah, I stopped reading after “[NATIVE AFRICAN AMERICAN PEOPLE] WERE ACTUALLY ONCE VERY ADVANCED AND LOVING BEINGS UNTIL YOU CAME HERE AND F*CKED THEM ALL UP JUST LIKE YOU’RE DOING TO US NOW,” too. To her credit, however, she never once mentioned Hitler or Nazis, so her rant is more coherent than 95% of what’s on the Internet. In related news: remember that time a bunch of grown men in clown makeup threw poop at Tila Tequila? Good times.

(Via Fark)


TAGSIlluminatiTILA TEQUILA

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