THINGS ARE GOING SWELL ON THE SET OF AMERICAN IDOL.
America’s most respected news organization obtained a tape from the show’s auditions in Charlotte, North Carolina, and it appears new judges Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey may have some minor philosophical differences to work out.
Nicki: Think I’m playin? Think this sh*t is a f*cking joke? Think it’s a joke? Think it’s a joke? Think it’s a joke? Say one more disrespectful thing to me, if you say one more disrespectful thing to me — off with your head!
Mariah: I am not being disrespectful.
Nicki: Off with your head, off with your head.
Nicki: Don’t tell me I’m insecure, don’t tell me I’m inadequate … you gonna get sent [inaudible] just fall back; don’t … you don’t know [inaudible] I don’t feel inadequate. You’re the insecure one sittin’ up there running down her resume every five minutes.
Nicki: Every time you take a shot at me I’ma take it back, and if you gotta f*cking problem then handle it. I told them, I’m not f*cking putting up with your f*cking highness over there … figure it the f*ck out. Figure it out. [...]
Mariah: Listen … I can’t see my kids because you decided to make … to have … to have a little baby fit and going all around the stage.
Nicki: Good, well then go see them now, go see them now … you’re boring as f*ck, you’re boring as f*ck.
Well that doesn’t sound good. Especially for poor Keith Urban, who was sitting right in between them at the time, presumably praying that his bangs would grow long enough that he could hide inside them and walk away unnoticed. But, I mean, at least they were just insulting each other and not making threats of physical violen-
Our sources say … in the heat of the argument, Nicki said, “If I had a gun I would shoot her.”
Americal Idol producer and possible Downton Abbey character Nigel Lythgoe denied that Minaj made the threat, Britishly saying “The statement [that Nicki made a death threat] is absolute rubbish. It’s absolutely not true in any way, shape or form,” and Seacrest went on his radio show and said things did “get intense” but not to worry because there’s “nothing wrong with disagreeing. That’s gonna happen, and it’s okay,” so, you know, there’s that. I’d love to hear his take on the Cuban Missile Crisis. “Yeah, we were on the brink of nuclear war, but sometimes that’ll happen, you know? No big whoop. Anyway, we’ve got Ke$ha in studio. Your thoughts on the Cold War, Ke$ha?”
I just hope the whole thing ends with a lawsuit where Randy Jackson calls the judge “dog.”