Nancy Grace is many things: a television host, a screaming loon, the greatest creator of Twitter hashtags the world has ever seen, etc. But is she also an Illuminati actor who is working in cahoots with accused child murderer Casey Anthony to “fill the media with propaganda so that American citizens believe there is justice in this country”? Probably not, but that does not make this lawsuit by a Pennsylvania woman named Naomi Riches any less spectacular.
A judge on Wednesday dismissed a $3 billion civil rights violation lawsuit and request for a temporary restraining order a West Chester, Pa. woman filed against Casey Anthony, who was in July of last year found not guilty of murdering her 2-year-old daughter Caylee following a highly-publicized trial. [...]
“Casey Anthony is an Illuminati actress who [h]as used the summers of 2009-2011 to mock and harass my current circumstances,” reads the suit’s statement of facts. “Casey Anthony and Nancy Grace are working in cahoots with one another to fill the media with propaganda so that American [c]itizens believe there is [j]ustice in this country. The media is lying and these people are all actors for the Illuminati.” [Metro]
Open your eyes, sheeple.
Riches’ lawsuit goes on to allege that, in addition to harassing and threatening to kill her, the Illuminati (led by Casey Anthony) has also made a pretty penny off a TV show that is being filmed with cameras they installed behind her eyes.
Riches further claims that Anthony informed her that Riches had secretly been made a celebrity, alleging, “She told me that Hollywood was making trillions of dollars off of me without my knowledge. She even went as far as to say that people were secretly taking pictures of me with their IPHONES while I was out in public so they could be put on tabloids outside of false Truman Show Environment I am being forced to live in.”
The woman claims that, per Anthony, she learned that everyone in her life was an Illuminati actor trying to demonstrate their roleplaying chops so they could break into the Hollywood industry. “She told me that there were cameras lodged in the back of my eyes and that my life is a reality show for the Elite,” Riches claims in the suit. “For months I couldn’t use the bathroom to go number 1 or 2 without thinking there was some sick wealthy pervert watching me through the cameras Casey Anthony claimed were lodged in the back of my eyes.”
OK, I feel two ways about this. On one hand, courts are already super-busy with legitimate legal claims, and even if it only took 30 seconds to dismiss this lawsuit, that is still 30 wasted-ass seconds that could have been spent on someone or something that was far more deserving. If I were a practicing attorney who had been dealing with weeks and weeks of delays in this particular court, this would make me furious. On the other hand, as someone who went to law school and read a lot of cases, I can assure you that there are not nearly enough legal filings that reference “sick wealthy perverts” watching people “go number 1 or 2″ via a camera that the Illuminati installed behind the person’s eyes. I can also assure you that Sick Wealthy Perverts is pretty much the best possible name for a Sex Pistols-style punk rock band. These are just facts.
(NOTE: If the last name “Riches” rings a bell, it is because Naomi is married to Jonathan Lee Riches, who you should really Google if you have a minute.)