In a recent episode of Family Guy — I know, I know, but this is going somewhere — Lois Griffin asks a crowded room full of people, “Are you all better than Jesus?” A woman wearing a sweater and glasses stands up and answers, “I’m better than Jesus,” to which Lois replies, “OK, yes, Tina Fey, you’re better than Jesus.”
Basically, yeah. It’s impossible to say anything bad about Tina Fey because you’d be wrong — she was great on SNL, Mean Girls is still brilliant despite all THIS, Baby Mama is underrated, and 30 Rock, well, 30 Rock is one of the best sitcoms of all-time. Sadly, though maybe gracefully is the better word, the show begins its seventh and final season this Thursday, meaning we only have 13 more episodes to spend with Fey’s greatest creation. No, not her two daughters, but Elizabeth Miervaldis Lemon, who, over 125 episodes and counting, has imparted much of her wisdom on how to live a worthwhile life to us. Here’s some of her best advice.
You’re not eating a pizza right unless you shotgun it.
(Via)
Jogging is for idiots.
(Via)
Sandwiches > men
(Via)
Sandwiches = life.
(Via)
Be whichever gender feels most natural to you.
Never say no to a party, especially when you’re forced to go.
(Via)
Do whatever Oprah tells you to do.
(Via)
If you don’t want to talk to someone, pick up the nearest phone and pretend someone’s on the other line.
(Via)
Your email address should double as a description of who YOU are as a person.
(Via)
If you start something, you must finish that something, even when it’s unbearably awful.
(Via)
SAY YES…to things.
(Via)
Don’t spend too much time worrying and thinking about your childhood — write about it instead.
(Via)
Don’t sell yourself short. Literally.
(Via)
There’s nothing in life more beautiful than motherhood.
(Via)
If you’re going to lie, make your lies believable.
(Via)
Help out those in need.
(Via)
BIRDS ARE THE WORST.
(Via)
Hipsters are terrible and should be avoided at all costs.
(Via)
To avoid your Constitutional duties as an American citizen, impersonate a science fiction character.
(Via)
Learn to work with the broken things in your life.
(Via)
Don’t be afraid of unusual relationships and situations.
(Via)
If you’ve got a song in your heart, belt it out, no matter who’s listening.
(Via)
If you’re going to say something racist, make sure you know who’s around you.
(Via)
Love your country.
(Via)
It’s totally acceptable to high-five yourself from time to time.
(Via)
Everything’s the worst.
(Via)
Shame? What is this thing called “shame”?
(Via)
AACK AACK AACK
(Via)
When in doubt, pretend life is one big Julia Roberts movie.
(Via)
And most of all, DANCE.
