Fivehead, produced by ABC Studios, chronicles the impressionable teenage years of Banks in the halls of her high school and at home, focusing on her family and the long journey that took Banks from awkward teen to one of the world’s most recognizable supermodels. “In high school, if you have glasses, you’re a ‘four eyes’, if you have braces, you’re a ‘metal mouth’ but if you had my forehead? You’re a FIVEHEAD,” said Banks. [Deadline]
Look, I’m not the biggest Tyra fan in the world, and there is zero chance I watch this show, but she does make a fair point here, and it’s one I’ve made a few times before: teenagers are horrible people, and society would be dramatically improved if we rounded them all up and locked them in cages. I don’t mean this from an “I’m old now and everything is stupid what’s with music these days I WARNED YOU THREE TIMES AND NOW I’M KEEPING THE FOOTBALL” perspective, I mean it from a human perspective. They are just awful. They’ll find one tiny little flaw and pick at it and pick at it until it turns into a gaping, festering wound, then point and laugh at the would. I mean, Tyra Banks was a world-famous model by the time she was like 18, and I have no doubt — none at all — that a bunch of goons at her high school still called her “Fivehead” every day until she cried. Teachers should be given cattle prods. This is the only solution.