The Office (NBC, 9 p.m.) — Stephen Colbert plays “Broccoli Rob,” Andy’s old a capella rival, in an episode titled “Here Comes Treble.” Modern Family used that same pun last week, and I’m still upset. It’s not to the level of Family Guy ripping off “Otm Shank,” but it’s close.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 p.m.) — “Leonard uses science to seduce Penny.” Oh good, the long-awaited date rape episode of Big Bang Theory.
30 Rock (NBC, 8 p.m.) — Twilight star/tween idol Kellan Lutz guest stars on a show where there’s already a more portly Lutz in town. Twitter is going to be confusing tonight. Comedy nerds and teenage girls tweeting together…MASS HYSTERIA.
Parks and Recreation (NBC, 9:30 p.m.) — It’s Parks‘ Halloween episode, which begs the question: what’s Greg Pikitis, Pawnee’s “crappiest little punk,” up to these days? In my mind, he’s sipping mai tais with Oren on a beach littered with dead jellyfish somewhere. Those two deserve one another.
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX, 10 p.m.) — Maureen Ponderosa’s getting hitched to someone other than Dennis, so the Gang decides to crash her wedding because they’re awful. Do you think people scream “DEAD TOOTH HOW’S YOUR DEAD TOOTH” when they see actress Catherine Reitman on the street? That can’t be good for her self-esteem.
The League (FX, 10:30 p.m.) — Timothy Olyphant drops by to play a white sushi chef. A white transvestite sushi chef with giant breasts, hopefully. Dustin will have a recap tomorrow.
Childrens Hospital (Cartoon Network, midnight) — Last week’s Childrens Hospital was brilliant, and tonight’s sounds like a classic, too, with Michael Cera stepping out from behind the PA mic and onto the screen.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Donald Trump, Adam Levine, and Carly Rae Jepsen on Letterman; Russell Brand and Jane Lynch on Leno; Michelle Obama and Halle Berry on Kimmel; Michael Chiklis and Maggie Grace on Ferguson; Julianna Margulies, Dan Patrick, and Gary Clark Jr. on Fallon; Simon Baker, Kaitlin Olson, and Reggie Watts on Conan; Nancy Pelosi on Stewart; and Mitch Daniels on Colbert.