Last night’s sixth episode of the third season, “Hounded” perhaps spent a little too much time focusing on Rick dealing with his grief, and maybe Daryl/Carl/Axel’s long walk through the prison had echoes of season two’s long walks through the forest, but unlike earlier seasons, there was an excellent payoff. There was lots of movement in last night’s episode, setting the series up for a great big showdown in the fall finale.
Before we get started, a reminder that book spoilers go in the thread that Maske creates at the bottom of the discussion post. Failure to abide by these rules will render you headless.
1. Merle Loves a Good Pun — The Governor was quick to release the redneck on Michonne as soon as she left the premises, on account of The Governor not appreciating any kind of civilized world that he can’t control outside of Woodbury. Also, he really wanted that damn sword. Michonne knew it was coming, and was nice enough to leave a Biter-Gram telling Merle and the Gang to go back.
They refused. Two of The Governor’s henchman were immediately disposed of because that’s the way Michonne rolls.
BOOM! You’re headless.
Unfortunately, she was shot in the leg trying to escape. At least she got a crotch shot in on Merle.
2. It’s a White Lie Because Merle is a Racist Dickhead, and That’s The Only Kind of Lie He Tells — A third henchman — poor skittish Neal — was taken out by Merle because Neal wasn’t willing to go along with Merle’s lie. He was going to tell The Governor that they’d also taken out Michonne, because she was as good as dead anyway. R.I.P. Neal, which wasn’t even his real name. We hardly knew you, bro.
“You hear that bird” is always how I like to distract my victims before I shoot them in the head.
3. “It’s a Beautiful Day” — Damnit Maggie! Don’t you know when you say sh*t like that in a zombie apocalypse drama you’re just asking for a redneck a**hole to take you hostage at gunpoint and take you back to his camp where the Governor will probably have sex with your toe webbings? So, Michonne led Merle to Glenn and Maggie, and Merle took Glenn and Maggie back to Woodbury, where he plans to interrogate them on the whereabouts of Daryl. Tune in next week for Merle’s lazy Asian jokes.
I’m going to be sad if they don’t get that adorable duck back to Lil Ass Kicker.
4. What the Hell Is Wrong with You, Andrea? — I mean, COME ON. Andrea continues to be the most maddeningly stupid character on The Walking Dead, although it was nice to see her jump the wall and take out a zombie, reminding us briefly of the woman she was before Maggie took over her character. Meanwhile, I’m not sure how she went from thinking the Ultimate Fighting Zombie Championship was too brutal to letting The Governor throw her a bone, but sure enough, The Governor charmed her into bed. Next week, he’ll seal the deal by showing her his cool floating head collection. The one catch here is that The Governor is keeping what he thinks he knows about Michonne (that she’s dead) and the knowledge that Merle has Glenn and Maggie to himself. He doesn’t want to cock-block himself, bro.
My colleague at Pajiba put The Governor among television’s most surprisingly sexy characters. I don’t see it. Ladies?
5. Zombie Kill of the Week — Michonne grabs the title again after taking a bath in zombie entrails. She earned it, folks.
6. Eau de Undead — Thanks to the zombie bath, Michonne finally discovers what the rest of us have known all along from watching zombie comedies: If you look like a Walker, and if you smell like a Walker, the Walkers will think you must be a Walker. They’ll leave you alone. A little blood and the scent of death is the perfect perfume.
7. Rick’s Tyler Durden Moment — Turns out, there was no one on the other end of the phone line except Rick’s fractured psyche.
Dude was talking himself on the phone the whole time, and his grief-torn second identity has a cruel sense of humor, making Rick wait two hours between phone calls and teasing him with knowledge of a safe space. SNAP OUT OF IT, RICK.
Turns out, the safe space was really just Rick coming to terms with the death of Lori. The voices in his head helped him find some closure so he could focus on caring for that newborn of his. Can we get an Awwwww?
The question is: Did Hershel know the phone was busted, and that Rick is fruit loops?
8. Nobody Parties Like a Token Black Character Parties — Oscar found him some slippers. In the zombie apocalypse, it’s the little things, isn’t it?
With a nice pair of slippers, Oscar can teach the Walkers the Sloppy Swish.
9. CAROL LIVES! — You knew she was alive. You just knew, and now the Daryl/Carol shippers can continue their course.
I was kind of hoping that, right here, Carol would burst out into Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.”
By the way, how awesome is Norman Reedus?
10. Michonne Kicks Back with Some Zombie Pals at the Prison Gate — Michonne’s arrival at the prison sets up a fun last couple of episodes of the fall half-season. Will Michonne lead Rick and the Gang back to Woodbury first, or will Glenn and Maggie lead Merle and the Governor to the Prison first? I hope it’s the latter so that Rick and Michonne have home field advantage.
