The Office (NBC, 9 p.m.) — No 30 Rock and Up All Night tonight, but The Office is still on, and Andy “must step up when his dad loses all his family’s money.” Yes, with only a few episodes left of the series, let’s focus on characters we’ve met maybe once, possibly twice, who we have no emotional connection to. Seems reasonable.
Burn Notice (USA, 9 p.m.) — Season premiere. The first half of season six ended with “the group left stuck in Panama, out of resources, and wondering what their next move should be,” according to Wikipedia. That never would have happened had the Burn Unit been called in.
Elementary (CBS, 10 p.m.) — Dustin already covered Elementary airing after the Super Bowl, but I must respectfully disagree with his choice of The X-Files being the all-time best pick for that coveted timeslot. The CORRECT answer is the season two Alias episode, “Phase One,” which begins with Jennifer Garner walking around in lingerie while “Back in Black” is playing. Mmmm, that’s good pandering to football fans.
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX, 10 p.m.) — The Gang goes “to the therapist’s office to work through their mountain of issues, and Dennis’ psychology is exposed as abnormal.” Really? The D.E.N.N.I.S. System seems perfectly reasonable to me.
The League (FX, 10:30 p.m.) — Buffalo Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick guest stars. Will Ruxin be the one to make the Harvard joke? Or will Taco? Or will the entire cast float the “insult” in the air, like so many Fitzpatrick passes, for it to be intercepted by someone like, like so many Fitzpatrick passes?
Childrens Hospital (Adult Swim, 12 a.m.) — He said, “No, you’re gonna tell me something today, tough guy.” I said, “All right, I’ll tell you something: watch Childrens Hospital‘s Goodfellas parody. Also, go f*ck your mother.”
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Robin Williams and Homer Simpson (yeah) on Letterman; Sally Field on Leno; Kirstie Alley on Kimmel; LL Cool J and Naomie Harris on Ferguson; RPattz on Fallon; Javier Bardem and Lauren Conrad on Conan; Katie Dellamaggiore and Pobo Efekoro on Stewart; and Rachel Maddow on Colbert.
I want more like this!
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