Gossip Girl (The CW, 8 p.m.) — Series finale. I’ve technically seen nearly every episode of Gossip Girl (my fiancée watches it on Monday nights while I’m working), and yet, I can’t name a single thing that’s happened on the show since, um, the pilot? Except that Leighton Meester is attractive. Quite the legacy.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) — An hour-long episode, in which Barney proposes to Ted’s mother’s daughter’s dog’s goldfish. Or something. This show is all over the place.
Dreamworks Dragons: Gift of the Night Fury (Fox, 8 p.m.) — Remember How to Train Your Dragon? That very good kids movie from 2010 with Jay Baruchel? Well, here’s the less good “Christmas special” that already appeared as a DVD extra last year. Still better than Jets v. Titans.
Picture Paris (HBO, 9 p.m.) — Or that weird looking short film starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus (and directed by husband Brad Hall) in France that you saw promos for after Boardwalk Empire episodes.
1600 Penn (NBC, 9:30 p.m.) — Series premiere. Oh god. You’ve seen the trailers by now: President Bill Pullman’s WACKY son, played by Josh Gad, moves into the White House to do WACKY things. I’m just going to pretend Josh Gad is still in The Book of Mormon, and while we’re at, that Jenna Elfman’s career stopped after she appeared in the music video for Chris Isaak’s “Somebody’s Crying.”
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Tom Cruise on Letterman; Megan Fox and Johnny Manziel on Leno; Hugh Jackman, Jenna Fischer, and 2 Chainz on Kimmel; Sarah Chalke and Anne Rice on Ferguson; Ewan McGregor, Charles Grodin, and DMB on Fallon; and Amanda Seyfried and Adam Pally on Conan.
I want more like this!
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