CBS, which is clearly trying to capture a younger demographic (see also their Beverly Hills Cop television show), has decided to make a television show based on Cameron Diaz’s box-office success, Bad Teacher. I didn’t love Bad Teacher. I thought it made for a much better movie trailer than movie, and I suspect the premise would wear out its welcome fairly quickly in a television show, although I have slightly higher hopes for the TV show because Hilary Winston (Happy Endings) is behind it.
It would also be a fun show to cast the lead in: You need a sexy, foul-mouthed actress who will probably have the camera pan up her body at least three times an episode, and who also looks good washing a car. I’m assuming Kate Upton is not doing television, so in lieu of her, here are 11 other choices that would be well suited to the show. Now, they’re not all necessarily unemployed — they’re in between television shows, or expected to be in between television shows — but whatever.
Carla Gugino. Gugino has been trying to land a television show for years, but hasn’t pulled it off yet. This could be her opportunity, and her stint on New Girl is not too dissimilar than what the role here calls for.
Yvonne Strahovski — Assuming she’s not returning full-time to Dexter, Strahovski could pull a younger demo over to CBS, as I’m sure many of us who watched Chuck would follow her over to see her wash a car. At a certain point, after all, she was the only reason left to watch either Chuck or Dexter.
Sarah Shahi. I didn’t love Fairly Legal, but I was still disappointed it was cancelled because it was a weekly excuse to see her. She has an arc on Chicago Fire right now, but that wouldn’t keep her from her own show.
Alexandra Breckenridge. The American Horror Story alum would be great, as either a red head or a blonde Bad Teacher. Her days on AHS has certainly prepared her for being bad.
Lucy Punch. This is probably the most natural choice because Lucy Punch is supposed to be the next big thing, she just lost her sitcom, AND she was in the Bad Teacher movie.
Krysten Ritter. With Don’t Trust the B being cancelled, Ritter wouldn’t have to change her character that much, just trade an apartment for a classroom.
Karen Gillan. She doesn’t exactly look the part, but if Billie Piper can make the transition from Doctor Who companion to Secret Diary of a Call Girl, surely Gillan can make the transition to bad teacher.
Eliza Coupe. Happy Endings isn’t officially cancelled, but it almost certainly will be, and Coupe would could play bad better than any of the women on this list. The sexy shouldn’t be too hard, either, and she could simply follow her Happy Endings writer over to CBS (Elisha Cuthbert might also do, in a pinch).
Laura Allen. The former Terriers and Awake actress doesn’t have a lot of comedy roles on her CV, but what can I say? I think she’s great, and I’d like her to land a job, soon.
Adrianne Palicki — Neither Wonder Woman nor Lone Star were hits for her, so surely this Friday Night Lights alum could put those incredibly long legs to good use in Bad Teacher.
Lake Bell. If you don’t think she can pull off sexy teacher in a sitcom, you clearly haven’t seen enough Children’s Hospital.