Portlandia (IFC, Friday 9 p.m.) — Third season premiere. I have to admit, I only watched the first half of the first season. I thought the pilot was hilarious, but it felt a lot like an SNL sketch: The same joke told over and over. It’s a pretty decent joke, though.
Blue Bloods (CBS, Friday 9 p.m.) — I wonder who will star in the Friday night show CBS buries on Friday nights for old people 25 years from now? It’ll probably be a time-traveling procedural starring a craggy Joel McHale and Amy Poehler. I’m OK with that.
NFC Wild Card Game: Indianapolis Colts vs. Baltimore Ravens (CBS, Sunday 1 p.m.) — It’s wild card weekend, the best NFL weekend of the year for gamblers. If you’re a huge fan of the Colts, as I am, a win could potentially create a miserable match-up against Colts B: The Denver Broncos. I like to think of the Broncos less as a team from Denver, and more like Peyton Manning simply expanding the Colts franchise into another part of the country. Did 49er fans root for Montana in Kansas City? I just can’t divest myself from Manning. It’s too painful.
Happy Endings/Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23 (ABC, Sunday 10 p.m.) — NEW TIME ALERT. Don’t forget, starting this Sunday, Happy Endings and Don’t Trust the B—- are moving to Sunday nights IN ADDITION to the regular Tuesday night time slot. On one hand: Two episodes in a week! On the other, it’s probably just ABC burning through them before putting a bullet in their heads in February. Damnit.
Fox Sunday Animated Line-Up (Fox, Sunday 8-10 p.m.) — Just a reminder, for those of you who watch, the Fox animated sitcoms are set to return after the winter break.
The Biggest Loser (NBC, Sunday 8 p.m.) — Jillian Michaels is back, and I think they’ve brought in kids for the 14th cycle, so don’t forget to point and laugh.