The Taste (ABC, 8 p.m.) — I need another cooking competition like Lindsay Lohan needs another hole in her head, but hey! This one features Anthony Bourdain and Nigella Lawson. Come for Bourdain’s cutting insults, and stay for the Nigella eye-candy. Also, The Taste is pre-empting Happy Endings and Don’t Trust the B—-, and we may never see another Don’t Trust the B— again.
New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.) — “Winston and Cece have an embarrassing encounter.” That could mean so many things, but none of them come to mind at the moment.
Parenthood (NBC, 10 p.m.) — It’s the season finale of Parenthood, which — like last year — received a reduced order so that NBC could bring in Smashed because the people over on NBC are not very bright (though, clearly smarter than the people on Fox News). Bring a second box of tissues, because Parenthood season finales are even weepier than regular episodes.
Private Practice (ABC, 10 p.m.) — It’s the series finale, which is the only reason I mention it. I won’t make that mistake again.
Emily Owens (CW, 9 p.m.) — The CW officially canceled this show back in November. It’s nearing the end of January. WHY IS IT STILL ON? I’m not sure CW understands what canceled means.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Dana Carvey (where has he been?) is on Leno, along with Emmy Rossum; Julie Bowen is on Kimmel; JLo is on Jon Stewart; and Kathryn Bigelow will be on The Colbert Report.