Justified (FX) – I don’t know if you guys have heard about this, but Justified is back tonight. (NOTE: I have seen tonight’s premiere because I am a big fancy TV blogger, and I can confirm that it is at least as dope as you’re hoping it is. Boyd Crowder completes me.)
Cougar Town (TBS) – Tonight is the TBS premiere of the under-watched, wine-soaked former ABC sitcom. This is important not only because it is a funny and good show, but also because (a) it currently employs friend of UPROXX Justin Halpern, and (b) the concept of a cable network “saving” a critically-adored but ratings-challenged show is in its experimental phase, so root like hell for Cougar Town if you want to see it happen more often.
Happy Endings (ABC) – Oh, hey, speaking of critically-adored but ratings-challenged shows that I’d like to see get rescued by a cable network (if it comes to that, which I hope it doesn’t), we’ll have a double-dip recap post of Happy Endings for you tomorrow that covers both tonight’s episode and Sunday’s.
New Girl/The Mindy Project (Fox) – Sorry, ladies. Not tonight. There’s just too much going on. Maybe some other time.
Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family) – Midseason premiere. I know what that means, technically, but it doesn’t make it any less silly. You took a break and came back, Pretty Little Liars. Don’t try to trick me.
Snooki & JWOWW (MTV) – Nope nope nope.
Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC) – Kimmel moves to 11:35 tonight to compete with Leno and Letterman, and his guests are Jennifer Aniston and No Doubt. Apparently when ABC said they were starting the show earlier his bookers thought they meant “in 1997.” (I kid, I kid.)
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Brian Williams and Morrissey are on Letterman; Billy Connelly is on Ferguson; Emma Stone and Josh Gad are on Leno; Jeff Bridges and Marlon Wayans are on Fallon; Kaley Cuoco and Anthony Mackie are on Conan; and Vikings punter and beloved Internet guy Chris Kluwe is on Colbert.