Happy Endings (ABC, 9 p.m.) — Mark Paul Gosselaar is on tonight’s episode as Max’s new roommate, and if he turns to talk to the camera even once, Danger’s recap tomorrow will probably just be: “*faints dead*”
Justified (FX, 10 p.m.) — Every season has an Art episode. Tonight is Art’s episode, unless it turns out (fingers crossed) that Art is going to get a lot more screen time this season, and EVERY episode is an Art episode. Also, the super hot bartender is ALL UP in this episode. Once, I wanted to do some research on the super hot bartender (and by research, I mean: find sexy pictures) and I typed in her name (Jenn Lyon), but it turns out she shares the nane of a former “Survivor” contestant who died, and obituaries came up on the majority of the search results. I had a sad. Google is a cruel mistress.
Betty White’s Off Their Rockers (NBC, 8 p.m.) — If I were Betty White, every single prank would be me pretending to be dead. I bet it would work every damn time, too.
Raising Hope (Fox, 8 p.m.) — Last week’s episode, featuring Christopher Lloyd as a banker obsessed with DeLoreans may have been my favorite episode of the series: Clever, without being alienating, funny, and totally earnest. This show hums along at a solid B+ most of the time, but every once in a while, they’ll pull out a solid A episode like last week’s.
New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.) — Denis Farina is on tonight as Nick’s scheming con-man father, and I’m pretty sure at this point that if Parks and Recreation (Ron Swanson) and Community (Alison Brie) are cancelled at the end of the season, Nick Miller will be the most GIFable sitcom character.
Cougar Town (TBS, 10 p.m.) — Did you catch last week’s premiere? The ratings were “eh,” but I thought it was a solid return episode, and it’s good to have the show back in our lives.
The New Normal (NBC, 9 p.m.) — I already watch seven sitcoms on Tuesday nights as it is, but just after I quit The New Normal, people started going on about how great it’s gotten. I can’t do another sitcom on Tuesday. It’s too much. That’s why the ratings are low for all of them: They’re just cannibalizing each other. THERE ARE OTHER NIGHTS IN THE WEEK.