Long before The New York Times decided to hop aboard the Guy Fieri bashing train (its engine runs on cheese sauce and regret), we were already cataloging the exploits of this flame-shirted, bleached-blond, walking product endorsement. Whether Guy Fieri is bringing his “culinary terrorism” to the wine business, tooling around in his toolmobile, losing his Lamborghini (conversely: having a Lamborghini), throwing an alleged tantrum at a Maxim party, or writing a cookbook with Smash Mouth, we’ll be there to poke pins into a voodoo doll nicknamed “Donkey Sauce” and cackle maniacally.
And now an ounce of comeuppance has been rolled in crushed Oreos, flash-fried, and served to a happy UPROXX crew: Guy Fieri didn’t register the most obvious domain name for his critically-panned Times Square restaurant, Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar, so programmer Bryan Mytko did the internet a great service (though some are alleging he may have stolen a few of the jokes on his fake menu below).
Mytko registered guysamericankitchenandbar.com and posted a menu of culinary delights fit for any Guy Fieri restaurant, with ambiance which includes Sammy Hagar lookalikes, Axe body spray, the music of Smash Mouth, misplaced bravado, and a reference to T.S. Eliot’s “The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock” perfect for any existential hellscape.
Click for glorious full size.
(H/T: The High Definite)