Touch (Fox, Friday 9 p.m.) — I didn’t detest Kiefer Sutherland’s overly sentimental supernatural drama about an autistic, speechless kid who sees patterns in numbers, but I certainly didn’t like it enough to watch more than the pilot. It’s second season has moved to Fridays, and now no one is watching it. Isn’t there a Flatliners sequel Sutherland could be working on?
Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, Friday 10 p.m.) — I don’t normally pimp Maher’s show (he’s kind of a windbag), but he often has great guests who unexpectedly reveal their intelligent sides (this is where I first became enamored with Ben Affleck’s political side), and tonight, we get to see how Joel McHale does when forced to discuss politics. He can say whatever he wants, really; he doesn’t have to worry about alienating viewers.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday 11:29 p.m.) — I worry that Saturday Night Live won’t live up to the potential of Christoph Waltz. I get the feeling that they’ll underuse and misuse him all night, which is what they tend to do with dramatic actors, even those with great comedy potential. Could be Bryan Cranston Part II.
Downton Abbey (PBS, Sunday 9 p.m.) — Third season finale. For those few of you who watch, the season finale can’t come soon enough. The show has come to a screeching halt. It is tedious, and slow, and everything people assume a British drama airing on PBS might be like, which is a shame because the first season was solid.
Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday 9 p.m.) — You people were hard on the mid-season premiere. Sunday’s episode is called “Home,” and whenever an episode is called “Home,” I always think of the X-Files episode. Will we have inbred zombies? Because HELL YES.
Shameless (Showtime, Sunday 9 p.m.) — No one is complaining about Shameless. I am loving the plotline centered on Fiona’s attempts to stop her grocery store boss from demanding blow jobs from the cashiers. They should work it into Raising Hope.
Killing Lincoln (National Geographic, Sunday 8 p.m.) — Wait? So the History channel makes crappy reality shows now, while National Geographic makes historical docudramas? WHAT A WORLD. Anyway, Billy Campbell (?) is playing Abe in this TV movie about the assassination of Lincoln.