The Taste (ABC, 8 p.m.) — I missed the first episode, then everyone said they hated it, and the second episode got terrible ratings, and now it looks like I saved myself two hours of television. It’s the small things in life, folks. Somebody let me know if Nigella wears something revealing, would you?
The Bachelor (ABC, 9 p.m.) — You know how ABC is burning off Happy Endings two at a time on Tuesdays? Yeah, they’re not doing that tonight. But The Bachelor is on, which I’m sure makes someone happy. Wouldn’t it be a better show if it featured a pimp wooing his “escorts” each week?
New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.) — After last week’s momentous episode, is it all downhill? At least we know Nick has a type now, and if I wants to burn through them all before he gets around to Jess, I’m OK with that.
The Joe Schmo Show (Spike, 10 p.m.) — I caught two episodes in the last week, and you know what? It’s amusing. It’s funny, but not mean-spirited, which is the way you want to go with fake reality shows.
Justified — (FX, 10 p.m.) — Patton Oswalt returns tonight, and per his Tweeter, his reunion with Alexandra Kyle is not a pleasant one.
Cougar Town (TBS, 10 p.m.) — In tonight’s episode, Jules looks into a career change, while Bobby starts flipping burgers, but Ellie keeps scaring away the customers.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Tonight’s Letterman will feature Eric Stonestreet; Leno has Kathryn Bigelow; Brad “The Emu” Cooper is on Kimmel; David Boreanaz checks in to Ferguson; Bieber is on Fallon; and Jennifer Lawrence, y’all, is on Conan tonight.
I want more like this!
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