In case you missed it, the second season of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s The Client List started last night, which is why they’ve allowed JLo Ho to leave her anti-gravity hyperbaric chamber and speak again. Under the first clause of her Lifetime contract, of course, Hewitt is required to allude to a hand job once per interview and mention her boobs at least 4.5 times per minute. In an interview with USA Today, where she’s asked to keep her boob mentions G-Rated, Ms. Lo Ho gave a video interview (because a print interview can’t capture the same level of insipidness), where she made some frivolous comment about insuring her boobs for $2.5 million apiece, which I — and many other outlets — will completely blow out of proportion and basically use it as an excuse to post cleavage shots of Hewitt because COMMERCE.
“I need like, an insurance invitation. If somebody was like, ‘Hey, you know what? We would like to insure your boobs for $2.5 million dollars,’ I’d be like, ‘Do it. Love it! Why not?’ “ She pointed to her chest and laughed, “These things right here are worth $5 million!”
*flirt* *flirt* *giggle* *giggle*
Among the other scintillating, thought-provoking, mindbending tidbits that Ms. Love Hewitt offered was the revelation that she prefers soft cotton T-shirts to lingerie at home because, you know, she has to wear matching panty sets all day, and that her 86-year-old grandmother liked to call her “The TV Ho” because grandmothers are adorable.
And for suffering through all 244 words of text, here’s your reward.