Justified (FX, 10 p.m.) — The Constable Bob torture scene last week was inspired by Tarantino’s True Romance, which makes me love Justified all the more. Tonight’s episode is all about Ellen May, but I have no idea how they top last week.
Splash (ABC, 8 p.m.) — In tonight’s episode of WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HUMANITY?, the two lowest scoring divers face off. Having seen the GIF of Louie Anderson diving last week on Josh’s post, I have to assume he’s one of the two lowest. Right? RIGHT?
The Voice (NBC, 8 p.m.) — I saw that the ratings for last night’s episode were huge, which means that NBC will be able to staunch the ratings bleeding temporarily. However, I also saw that Revolution was down a tad. I’d like to see how it does without The Voice lead-in. I’m guessing similar to what Go On did without The Voice, which was to tank.
New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.) — Nick Kroll and Margo Martindale guest star in tonight’s episode, which sees the gang go back to Chicago after a death in Nick’s family. Margo Martindale is now one step closer in her quest for world domination.
Cougar Town (TBS, 10 p.m.) — To celebrate the renewal of Cougar Town, tonight’s episode is centers around Penny Can. I just hope they don’t sell the rights to Target.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Brian Williams is on Letterman; Keith Urban is on Leno; Jeremy Piven sits in with Kimmel; Ferguson has Sarah Chalke; Chris Hardwick in on Fallon; and Vanessa Hudgens is on Conan.