I don’t know about you, but one of the of the most formative days of my life was that day in college when I learned I had crabs. Oh what a day. As I sleeked to the register of that Walgreen’s at 2am with a bottle of pubic lice treatment in my hand — hoping no one I knew would pop in to see me — I felt as though I’d officially arrived as an adult man. And then I went home and me and my ex each applied the treatment to our crustacean-infested loins and shaved off all our pubes and argued over who was the one who gave the crabs to the other. It was great.
Do you remember the time you got crabs? If you’re under a certain age, there’s a good chance you never had the chance to experience this rite of passage. Seriously, when was the last time you worried about getting crabs, or had a friend tell you they had crabs? It never happens anymore. Why? Brazilian waxing and “manscaping.” They’re destroying the pubic lice ecosystem — outside of pubic lice sanctuaries like Brooklyn and Baltimore, of course. In the wonderful Daily Show clip below, Jessica Williams investigates, with a cameo from John Waters. Enjoy.