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Here Is A Picture Of Timothy Olyphant As A USC Swimmer In The Early 90s

By / 04.10.13

[fans self furiously]

Oh my. Oh dear. Is that … is that Timothy Olyphant? That tall drink of water from Justified? The one with the hat? Mmmm hmmm. And you say this is a picture of him from back when he was on the USC swim team? My heavens. I think I need to lay down for a spell.

[lays down under peach tree]

Jolene, would you be a dear and fetch me a glass of lemonade? This is all just a bit much for me. The thought of a strappin’, young Raylan Givens cuttin’ through the water like a dolphin, with that heavenly feathered hair of his along for the ride, I just … I mean … my stars, y’all.

[blushes, catches the vapors]

Oh hush. I am not blushing. It’s just this heat. It’s simply unbearable this time of year. Aunt Mae always hated early spring. Said the first hot sun of the year affected her rememberin’. Bless her heart. Well, listen, it’s just been a real treat catchin’ up, but I must be gettin’ to the market to pick out a ham for Sunday dinner.

[gets up, looks at picture again]

Oh my … I do believe I’m gettin’ a bit woozy … oh my …

[faints]

Via @sarahsprague


TOPICS#JUSTIFIED
TAGSthe vaporsTIMOTHY OLYPHANT

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