Time Magazine recently released their 100 Most Influential People in the World list, which, I mean, fine. If you wanna get all hot and bothered about a relatively arbitrary list of famous rich people and not-famous even richer people, please be my guest. But it doesn’t do it for me in the least. (NOTE: If I ever end up on this list, my tune will change so quickly you’ll think you’re at an EDM concert.) The only reason I’m even bringing it up is because they had the big fancy gala to celebrate it, and Jimmy Kimmel gave a very nice toast. And by “a very nice toast,” I mean “a toast where he cracked jokes and chugged glasses of booze.” I counted a total of five drinks in the four minute clip, which means if he wasn’t drunk before the toast, hoo boy, he was drunk after it. I wish they had kept a camera on him the rest of the night. That coulda been fun.
And speaking of things that could be fun, how cool does the future of late-night television look? (Relevant.) Sure, it’s still occasionally enjoyable to watch Leno and Letterman take swipes at each other like two cranky dinosaurs struggling to hang on after the meteor hit, but give me two fun guys who like each other and make public appearances together where they slam drinks in front the World’s Most Influential People any day of the week.