How We Should Have Been The Mother: The Ted Mosby Girlfriend Power Rankings

By: 04.17.13

#15. Holly

Pro: Um…

Con: Um… (seriously, the only thing we know about Holly is that she reminds Ted of Robin, because her ex-fiance is named Wayne, the last name of Batman, whose partner is Robin, and that she slept with Ted)

#14. Amy

Pro: A whole lot of fun if you’re into drinking and hot tubs and even more drinking

Con: Doesn’t think twice about her ex-boyfriend giving her current hook-up a butterfly tattoo on his lower back

#13. Cathy

Pro: Isn’t shy

Con: Women be talkin’ (her fatal flaw was that she talked too much, so, yeah)

#12. Amanda

Pro: Chef at a nice restaurant, skilled pumpkin cheesecake baker

Con: Misspells Lily as “Lori,” lets her hair fall into the soup she’s preparing

#11. Naomi

Pro: Goes to Halloween parties as slutty pumpkins

Con: Apparently her ex- has a weird past with some kooky made-up religion, warning sign

#10. Carly

Pro: Could be Elisha Cuthbert’s sister

Con: Has Stinson in her (meaning she’s related to Barney), only enjoys the new Star Wars movies

#9. Stella

Pro: Good mom, awesome daughter, can yell STTTTTTEEEELLLLLAAAAAA at her whenever you want


#8. Robyn

Pro: Exactly like Robin (shoots guns, drinks scotch, etc.), blonde

Con: Canadian

#7. Natalie

Pro: Knows Krav Maga, listens to Belle and Sebastian, collects sock monkeys

Con: Prone to getting back with ex-boyfriends who broke up with her over answering machine messages

#6. Natalia

Pro: Gourmet cook, can quote every line from Caddyshack, world class violinist

Con: I’m sorry, what? I wasn’t paying attention. My phone was ringing.

#5. Honey

Pro: Katy Perry, Katy Perry, Katy Perry, Katy Perry, Katy Perry

Con: Not the sharpest tack, once gave her Social Security number to a Nigerian prince, you’ll be broke in hours

#4. Trudy

Pro: Cool with threesomes, finds drunk people singing in bars sexy, looks like Winnie Cooper

Con: Leaves in the middle of the night, uses pineapples as MacGuffins

#3. Victoria

Pro: Always smells like bread and cupcakes, as sweet as said cupcakes, has the same name as a great Kinks song

Con: Might leave you at the altar, isn’t down with the whole “in love with your best friend” thing

#2. Janet

Pro: Graduated from Princeton at 15, donated kidney to stranger, climbed Mt. Everest, saved a baby, billionaire

Con: Enjoys Annie Hall more than Bananas

#1. Cindy

Pro: Summer. Roberts.


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