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'Teen Mom' Farrah Abraham Sold Her Stupid Sex Tape For Almost $1 Million

By / 04.29.13

This is so dumb. This is so stupid and dumb. Like, even more stupid and dumb than it was before, back when it was still so, so stupid and dumb.

Farrah Abraham has indeed signed on the dotted line. About three weeks after she filmed a sex tape with adult film star James Deen — and a couple weeks of very public negotiations — the 21-year-old former Teen Mom star landed a deal with porn company Vivid Entertainment, the company confirmed in a Monday, April 29 press release. [US Weekly]

So dumb. So stupid and dumb.

According to TMZ, Abraham landed nearly a million dollars for the film. The lucrative payday is a little bit less than Abraham had publicly hoped for.

So stupid and INFURIATING and dumb.

“Farrah is gorgeous, sexy and absolutely uninhibited. Farrah’s looks remind me of a young Kim Kardashian and we all know how her story turned out.”

GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH.

Okay. Remember Snakes on a Plane? Remember how crazy the lead-up to that was? How everyone was all “HAHA IT’S CALLED SNAKES ON A PLANE” and “OH MAN I HOPE SAM JACKSON SAYS THE MF THING THAT HE SAYS,” and the studio was like “HOLY NUTS THIS IS GONNA BE HUGE,” but then the film got released and no one went to see it because the “buzz” was actually just people making fun of it all? I pray that’s what happens here. I hope no one pays a single dollar for this tape and Vivid loses a fortune. Farrah Abraham already has her money, so that horse is out of the barn, but this whole thing was so contrived and stupid and sad from Day 1 that I need someone to eat a bunch sh*t for it or I am going TO DIE. And I want it to be Vivid because they’re the adults in the room. Sort of.

Look, there will always be fame-hungry idiots who will do anything greedy people are willing to give them a check for, so my point is, let’s just make it not worth it for greedy people to give them checks. BING. BANG. BOOM. Problem solved. I mean, not go all “Maybe we could end all war if everyone just held hands and smiled, man,” but it’s really that simple. And it’s not just that, either. Do you realize that we wouldn’t have 30 shows on E! about the Kardashian family invading various U.S. cities if people had just, like, not paid $25 or whatever to watch Kim have sex with Ray-J? Think about that. With Ray-J. We could have stopped it all way back then. It would have been so easy.

Anyway, here’s the box cover. F*ck this movie.


TAGSfarrah abrahamTEEN MOM

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