So let’s get the sobering stuff out of the way: three women — Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight — were missing ever since 2002. The search never stopped and they became one of the biggest news stories in *drumroll* Cleveland. Tonight, the three women escaped and ran into the arms of one of the 47 greatest men to ever live, Charles Ramsey.
So of course, news cameras got a hold of Ramsey and he gave an interview for the ages. And unlike Sweet Brown or Antoine Dodson, Charles Ramsey actually did something worthwhile so we have to have him on TV as often as possible.
- Charles describing his relationship with the kidnappers as saying they were people he ate barbecue and listened to salsa music with.
- “My neighbor got some big testicles to pull this off, bro.”
- “I knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man’s arms.”
Just, please, skip the musical remixes and Skrillex samples and get this man an endorsement deal.