New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.) — Tonight’s penultimate episode of the season is called “Winston’s Birthday Party,” but Rob Reiner also stops by unannounced as Jess’ Dad, which forces them to spend time alone together. SITCOM TROPE. I’m assuming that Jess’ Dad also cockblocks further activity between Jess and Nick.
Splash (ABC, 8 p.m.) — A winner is chosen! Our long national nightmare is over. How many more weeks until Wipeout?
The Mindy Project (Fox, 9:30 p.m.) — Mindy goes to a frat party. Kappa Kappa HILARIOUS. Am I right?
Constitution USA (PBS, 9 p.m.) — Peter Sagal, the host of NPR’s Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me host this series, which takes a look at the foundation of American laws, so if you want to know what Peter Sagal looks like you can 1) take an educated guess based on the photo above, 2) do your own Google search, or 3) watch this new series.
Hart of Dixie (CW, 8 p.m.) — In tonight’s season finale, Rachel Bilson removes all of her clothes and eats Twizzlers for 42 minutes. At least, that would be the case if I owned The CW. Listen to me, CW! This is why your ratings are terrible.
Inside Amy Schumer (Comedy, 10:30 p.m.) — I didn’t love last week’s premiere, but I am willing to give it another shot, because I want it to be good.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Zoeey Deschanel is on Dave; Lauren Graham is on Leno pimping her new book; Robert Downey, Jr. is on Kimmel; Ryan Seacrest is on Ferguson; Krasinski is on Fallon; Mindy Kaling is on Jon Stewart and Marc Maron is on Conan.
I want more like this!
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