Before she was a student at Lincoln East High School, 19-year-old Valerie Dodds attended St. Pius X High School, where she was mocked by her fellow classmates because she started a nude photo business. In Dodds’s words, according to KETV, “That’s when all of the Pius kids were saying mean things and that’s when I decided to go there and show them that I’m here to stay.” (More like “PIOUS kids.”) Rather than staging an elaborate prank that would have taken years to develop, but ultimately would have ended with all her bullies in loveless marriages and/or dead, which is what I would have done, Dodds used her assets to get revenge, or something.
She bared it all on school grounds late at night on Mother’s Day. Days ago, Dodds [known as Valerie Midwest online] received a ticket, citing her for trespassing and public nudity.
“Why would you give me a ticket for public nudity if I’m trespassing onto private property?” Dodd said.
That’s a question for the ages, like “Why are we here?” “What’s the meaning of life?” “What’s the secret ingredient in Funyuns?” and “Since when does Louis C.K. own the skeeziest looking bar north of Cancun?”
St. Pius X released the following statement: “The Administration of Pius X High School is aware that a young lady has twice been on, or in front of, our school property — inappropriately dressed and seemingly intent on offending the school. If her behavior on Pius X property is illegal, we will involve the proper authorities. More important to us, however, is that we constantly follow our school’s motto: To Restore All Things In Christ. To that end, we are praying for the young lady and her family, and we stand ready to offer forgiveness and support should she seek it.”
To be fair, Val Midwest owns a shirt that reads, “I Bare My Boobs For Only One Man: Jesus,” so he’s cool with it. As for the crucifix part: on Dobbs’s website, she wrote, “I held nothing back I used my fingers, my toys and even my crucifix in my p*ssy! I used every part of the school I could get into, payback is a bitch ha ha.” In unrelated news, St. Pius X High School will be closed for a month so it can be drowned in Purell.