Despite the fact that it was the SECOND TO LAST EPISODE OF THE ENTIRE SERIES, practically nothing happened last night’s episode until the final two minutes. Up until that point, Dexter felt like a bad sitcom finale, where where all the characters gives each other hugs, say their goodbyes, and wave through their tears. Apparently, Showtime forgot that Dexter is A SHOW ABOUT A GODDAMN SERIAL KILLER, and decided to turn it into a sappy Hallmark movie about a sweet serial man who kills people who has to go on a trip with the woman he loves. Awwww.
This show. THIS SHOW. Twenty bucks says that half the staff and cast watched Breaking Bad live and DVR’d their own shows. Indeed, as bad as Dexter has been this season (and it has been appallingly bad), it has doubly suffered from having to air against Breaking Bad. It’s a good contrast, however, in how to and how not to end a series. Showrunners, take note.
Before we get to the developments in this episode, let’s just relive the sappy moments.
Sappy Moment #1
Deb and Debra briefly mourning the death of Evelyn Vogel: “If it weren’t for her, we never would’ve found our way back to each other.”
Sappy Moment #2
Harrison says goodbye to Jamie the Nanny. “Harrison’s going to miss you,” Dexter says. “Monkey’s gonna miss you, too,” says Harrison.
Sappy Moment #3
Debra finds the ring that Joey bought her, and they have a moment. “You’ve kept this here the whole entire time?” Keep in mind, during these sappy scenes, the score is bad rom-com piano tinkling.
Sappy Moment #4
The Chief says goodbye to Dexter. “If you ever need anything … you’ve always got a place … you’re like family … blah blah blah.”
Sappy Moment #5
Nikki and Masuka have a father/daughter bonding moment. I still have NO idea how this relationship services the plot at all.
Sappy Moment #6
Dexter gives Quinn his blessing to date Debra while he’s gone. “I want her to be with someone who is happy.”
Sappy Moment #7
Batista says his farewells. “He will always be right here, in our hearts.”
Dexter even gets a little choked up. “I’ll miss you guys, too.”
Sappy Moment #8
Debra and Hannah bond over their shared love of that crazy guy, Dexter.
Sappy Moment #9
Dexter’s tearful farewell to Debra.
Sappy Moment #10
Dexter says goodbye to Harry. “I never thought this day would come. You don’t need me anymore.”