How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) — Season premiere. I’m more excited than I should be. That’s because this season of How I Met Your Mother, its last, is utilizing a slightly different story structure than previous years: all 22 episodes take place over the course of Barney and Robin’s wedding weekend. It’s like 24, but 48 (72?) and with more slap bets. (Note: there are two episodes on tonight.)
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7 p.m.) — Don’t forget about Adventure Time.
Monday Night Football (ESPN, 8:25 p.m.) — You can also watch the Broncos beat the piss out of the Raiders.
Sleepy Hollow (Fox, 9 p.m.) — Our very own Burnsy was quoted on this show’s Twitter feed: “…one thing is for certain – SLEEPY HOLLOW is a hit.” @UPROXX (Ashley Burns) #sleepyhollow. For some reason they left out, “I thought the commercials and trailer looked like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter had himself a bastard son.”
Mom (CBS, 9:30 p.m.) — Series premiere. The good: Anna Faris, Allison Janney, largely positive reviews. The bad: Chuck Lorre and CBS. Take your pick. I’m hoping for the former, expecting the latter.
The Blacklist (NBC, 10 p.m.) — Series premiere. James Spader is Raymond “Red” Reddington, a wanted fugitive who surrenders to the FBI, but only on the condition that he helps them catch bad guys and exclusively works with rookie agent Elizabeth Keen, because of course. This sounds like a Robert California fever dream.
Hostages (CBS, 10 p.m.) — Series premiere. Or, that dumb, convoluted looking Toni Collette, Tate Donovan, and Dylan McDermott show about kidnapped doctors assassinating the president, or something, that aired promos every three seconds during the Emmys last night. Lemme know how it is.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Bill Clinton on Letterman; Justin Timberlake on Leno; Patrick Dempsey and Paul McCartney on Kimmel; Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Taylor Schilling on Ferguson; and BREAKING BAD CAST ON CONAN.
