Hey, the government’s open again. It’s about time. I don’t know about you, but it’s been far too long since I’ve punched a zoo zebra in the face. Anyway, right after the House finished their vote to not have the word “furloughed” be used in casual conversation for at least another month, a stenographer, excited by the prospect of being able to look George Washington in the face while taking a leak in front of Mount Rushmore, went a little crazy.
“He [God] will not be mocked,” the stenographer, apparently named Molly, yelled into the microphone as she was dragged off by security. “The greatest deception here is that this is not one nation under God. It never was. It would not have been. The Constitution would not have been written by Freemasons. They go against God. You cannot serve two masters. Praise be to God. Praise be to Jesus.” (Via)
Look, we’re all excited to be able to see Michael Jackson’s hat again, but keep your emotions in check, lady.