Showtime’s Shameless is set to return in January, and after a fall dominated by The Walking Dead, Homeland, and Boardwalk Empire, I think we could all use some levity in our cable dramas … and nudity, specifically that of Emmy Rossum, who is a regular on our annual list of the television actresses you’re most likely to see naked. This year, after the loss of her boyfriend Jimmy (Justin Chatwin), who is presumably dead, Rossum will be returning to the dating world again, which means more sex scenes, which means more nudity, which means more questions from reporters about her nudity.
As she explains to Yahoo, Rossum has certain rules when it comes to doing onscreen nudity.
Rule #1: It Must Be Relevant
“We always have a closed set, and I only ever sign the waiver and do the scene if I feel like it’s really important to the story,” she said. “There have been times when I’ve said, ‘Nope, I don’t think that’s important to the story. I’m not gonna do it.'”
“Important” really is a subjective term, isn’t it? How often is nudity really that important to the story?
Rule #2: Prepare
“I always eat tuna fish and onions first,” she jokes.
Rule #3: Eyes Up Here, Mister
I’m kind of used to it by now, but a lot of times the boys that are coming in are worried about, like, are they supposed to just look me in the eyes? What should they do in between takes?
Rule #4: Ease Tension with Humor
“I just joke around and try to have some kind of fraternity humor with them so that they don’t feel like anything is more awkward than it should be. But, you know, it is awkward.”
Rule #5: No Props
“We don’t do fart cushions or anything like that, no,” she said. “But if I don’t make jokes it’s like crickets between takes. Both people just stare at the ceiling not talking.”
Rule #6: Unless It Is Necessary, Do Not Gaze Upon the Naked Flesh of Emmy Rossum
And the crew? “They all turn around and avert their eyes,” she says. “It’s very much awkward for everyone.”
“Awkward,” huh? Right. I’m sure that’s what all the male crew members tell their wives.