Enjoy this post because it’ll probably be my last. Sure my poor diet and health choices would’ve caught up to me in a year or two, but today I’ve brought shame on my family by uttering the word selfie and must now commit seppuku to save face.
But not before we talk about this delightful video of Martha Stewart and David Letterman attempting to take one while proving that old folks and technology are an adorable mixture. It’s sort of like that Swiffer couple, but with people that could buy and sell me numerous times just to prove a point.
Elsewhere in this video, Dave brings up Martha’s recent dating efforts through Match.com. This sort of gives me chills knowing that Martha Stewart was using Match instead of shelling out the extra cash for eHarmony. She must just be out for fun instead of serious romantic connection, prowling Craigslist for random hookups during those lonely, rustic nights on the homestead.
Would I date Martha Stewart? Sure. Then and now. Then for obvious reasons and now for the sole fact that I’d have a story to tell the children at the bus station and because I’m sure there is going to be some sort of craft basket involved. I would be Steadman to her Oprah, just as soon as the checks cleared.
Too bad I’m a dead man. Selfie is such a stupid f*cking word. I can’t hear someone say it without thinking masturbation, which carries a lot of weight after reading this post.