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Nick Offerman Calls ‘Parks And Recreation’ The ‘Throbbing, Turgid Boner’ Of NBC

By / 11.04.13

(via Getty Image)


A few weeks ago, a lot was made of of the fact that NBC temporarily pulled Parks and Recreation from their Thursday night schedule, although as Adam Scott pointed out on Twitter, it wasn’t really that big of a deal. The thing about NBC’s Thursday night line-up is that the ratings are terrible. Moreover, besides Parks and Recreation, the sitcoms are terrible. But Parks and Recreation is not in any immediate danger. It’s ratings are not good, but they are steady. More importantly, they’re into syndication money, so the longer NBC can keep Parks running, the more money they’re going to make off the show from networks like FXX, which is running Parks and Rec.

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Parks and Rec wasn’t cancelled. It’s season order wasn’t shortened. All that happened is that a few episodes scheduled to air in November were pushed into December, where NBC had originally planned to air Parks and Rec reruns. Why? Because NBC thought it would schedule The Voice reruns and an SNL special to boost ratings for the sitcoms that actually are in trouble, Sean Saves the World and The Michael J. Fox Show.

Nick Offerman understands this. He understands that Parks and Rec is safe, because Parks and Rec is NBC’s Thursday-night erection. Here’s what he had to say about the schedule change to THR:

We don’t really bat an eyelash. It’s not the first time, nor the second, that we’ve been shuffled around by the network. We want the best for the network. They are a larger organism of which we’re a living breathing part. I dare say we are the throbbing, turgid boner of NBC. Perhaps, more appropriately, we’re also the second ovaries since our show is a matriarchy under Amy [Poehler]. But like any organism, sometimes you’re proud of your genitals, and you want to use them to give pleasure to others. And other times you have to focus on the other parts of your body — if you have a bad tooth or an ear infection. In those instances, you don’t generally want your genitalia exposed. And so you put it away while you pay attention to your haircut. If you’re getting your lips or ears pierced, you don’t want your genitalia stealing the thunder.

We enjoy the cultural coitus into which NBC inserts us, but sometimes we understand that we will remain dormant within their trousers. As long as the lights are still on and we’re still shooting, we’re happy as clams. We just shot our 100th episode, which is 94 more than we thought we were going to go.

First of all, that may be the best metaphor ever in the history of the whole damn world used to describe a sitcom. Second of all, is Nick Offerman calling Sean Saves the World a bad tooth, and The Michael J. Fox an ear infection? Because that sounds about right, too.

Update: I stand corrected. As a reader, B. points out, NBC doesn’t actually make any money from Parks and Rec syndication.

“They’re currently licensing the show from Universal TV, who is also licensing it out in syndication to Parks & Rec. The production company (3 Arts) and the studio (UTV) retain the licensing fees; the networks that carry the show (first run or syndication) retain the advertising revenue … so FXX airing the show earns NBC nothing.”

Huh. Well, that’s good to know. Thanks, B!

(Source: THR)


TOPICS#PARKS AND RECREATION
TAGSnick offermanRON SWANSON

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