Here’s the newest “Ex-Men” sketch from The Pete Holmes Show, in which Pete Holmes stars as Professor X, firing the least valuable players from the X-Men with profanity-laced explanations of exactly why they suck. We already watched him tell Wolverine to get a journal and call Gambit garbage without his cards.
Now he’s firing Angel for being a bird impersonating an Abercrombie model. Abercrombie and Finch? Sorry.
It starts out strong:
“I’m going over your file here, and there seems to be something missing. I mean, what are your powers again?”
“I know you fly, but what else?”
[chortles, slaps desk] “Well, you’re f–king fired.”
Then it just gets better, with Holmes making a stream of belittling bird jokes, my favorite one being, “Would you do me one small favor, bird? When you get your worthless ass out of my office, would you resist the urge to sh-t on my car? I just hate it when your people sh-t on my car.”