Inside the Actors Studio (Bravo, 7 p.m.) — Oh, you think you’re too good to have an engrossing and high grossing chat with James Lipton on Inside the Actors Studio with the rest of your Arrested Development castmastes, David Cross? Actually, that’s probably true. Carry on as you were, not humoring Lipton and his inane questions.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 p.m.) — Bill Nye makes his first appearance on…wait, that hasn’t happened already? That’s like if Nashville never played country music. (That was an excuse to watch this again.)
The Michael J. Fox Show (NBC, 9 p.m.) — Don’t worry: Chris Christie drops by to tell fat jokes, probably.
Glee (Fox, 9 p.m.) — The dorks decide whether they’re more Gaga or Katy. I’m more gay for Moleman.
Elementary (CBS, 10 p.m.) — Rhys Ifans returns as Mycroft. Yeah, sure. As much as I hate to admit it, the show being on CBS and all, Elementary keeps getting better and better. But anyone who claims it’s better than Sherlock deserves to take a Reichenbach Fall off the nearest tall building.
Scandal (ABC, 10 p.m.) — Kerry Washington should read all of her lines in her Miss Uganda voice.
The Greatest Event In Television History (Adult Swim, Network 12 a.m.) — YESSSSS. The TV show that’s receiving the “homage” hasn’t been revealed, but I’m hoping Adam Scott, Chelsea Peretti, Kathryn Hahn, Jon Glaser, and Catherine O’Hara get to show off their finest stunt people/bounty hunter skills.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Kelly Ripa and Gary Clark, Jr. on Letterman; Andy Samberg on Leno; Rob Lowe and Nine Inch Nails on Kimmel; Kat Dennings and Markus Persson on Ferguson; Rachel Maddow and M.I.A. on Fallon; Chris Hemsworth and Marc Maron on Conan; Patrick Stewart on Stewart; and Dan Lieberman on Colbert.