Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7 p.m.) — Tonight’s episode is called “The Pit,” so I’m assuming Andy Dwyer drops by to sing a song, which is really the only way Adventure Time could be better than it already is.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) — JOHN LITHGOW ALERT. I’m about six episodes behind, but I’ve come to terms with binge-watching the entire season in the week before the finale in May. Hopefully Jason Segel doesn’t get too skinny or too fat by then.
Almost Human (Fox, 8 p.m.) — In case you missed last night’s premiere of Fox’s “almost watchable” new series…this won’t help you, because it’s another new episode.
Monday Night Football (ESPN, 8:25 p.m.) — Be an American. Boo the Patriots. GO PANTHERS.
Sleepy Hollow (Fox, 9 p.m.) — Ichabod, Abbie, Capt. Irving, and Jenny Mills unite against the Headless Horseman. All of those names sound like overpriced Irish bars.
Mom (CBS, 9:30 p.m.) — Three of CBS’s sitcoms have “and” episode titles. There’s How I Met‘s “Mom and Dad,” Mike & Molly‘s “Sex and Death,” and Mom‘s “Zombies and Cobb Salad.” Put all six things together, and you’ve got one hell of a night. Thanks for the weird inspiration, CBS.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Vince Vaughn and Jimmie Johnson on Letterman; Whoopi Goldberg and Anthony Jeselnik on Leno; Barbara Walters, Josh Gad, and Fall Out Boy on Kimmel; Kunal Nayyar on Ferguson; Bill Cosby and Bonnie Raitt on Fallon; Eric Stonestreet, David Morrissey, and Reggie Watts on Conan; Elizabeth Olsen on Stewart; and Steve McQueen on Colbert.