Brooklyn Nine Nine (Fox, 8:30 p.m.) — If Mike Schur wanted to turn this sown into 22 minutes of Terry Jeffords stifling a yawn, I wouldn’t complain.
Black Mirror (DirecTV, 9 p.m.) — If you have DirecTV, LISTEN TO ME. You must watch tonight’s premiere of the British import, Black Mirror. It’s one of the most unsettling, darkest hours of comedy television I’ve ever seen. The premise of this episode: The princess has been kidnapped, and the only way to save her is if the Prime Minister f**ks a pig on live TV. It will mess you up in the head.
New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.) — It’s the second episode with the Coach back, and while last week’s return was lackluster, let’s hold off on our complaints. Unless it’s lackluster again this week, then bitch away.
Agents of SHIELD (ABC, 8 p.m.) — Last week’s episode was probably the best of the season, and hopefully means the series is moving in a positive direction ahead of the Thor crossover episode.
Mindy Project (Fox, 9:30 p.m.) — Tonight’s episode, “You’ve Got Sext,” is a tribute to Nora Ephron’s You’ve Got Mail, and the early impression I’m getting is that Dennis from It’s Always Sunny will be the recipient of the sexts.
Sons of Anarchy (FX, 10 p.m.) — Two things to look for tonight: The Tara/Jax fall-out begins, and Galen attempts to pull Clay out of prison, after his trial date is pushed up.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Michael J. Fox on Letterman, Carrot Top on Leno (?), Robin Williams on Kimmmel, Ron Perlman on Ferguson, Mariah Carey on Fallon, Joe Scarborough on The Daily Show and Dax Shepard on Conan.
