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Please Take A Moment And Read This Hilarious Amazon Review Of A $40,000, 85-Inch Television

By / 12.04.13

amazon tv

There will always be a soft spot in my heart for people who take time out their day to be rascals on the Internet, especially when their hijinks (a) aren’t hurting anyone, and (b) appear to be done purely for the love of the rascal-based game. So, with that in mind, allow me to present the top customer review for the $40,000 Samsung UN85S9 85-Inch 4K Ultra HD 120Hz 3D Smart LED TV, penned by Amazon user James Thach, who has a bit of a history with this kind of thing.

Enjoy.

My wife and I bought this after selling our daughter Amanda into white slavery. We actually got a refurbished. It’s missing the remote, but oh well– for $10K off, I can afford a universal, right? The picture is amazing. I’ve never seen the world with such clarity.

Amanda, if you’re reading this, hang in there, honey! We’ll see you in a year.

*****

I just wanted to add an addendum to my review. Since posting it, we have received a flood of responses. People have said some pretty hurtful things–even questioning our values. Let me assure you, this was not an easy decision to make, and we made it as a family. Obviously, it’s very personal. But in light of all the second-guessing, I wanted to explain our thinking.

First and foremost, screen size. I really think you can’t go too big. 85″ may seem huge, but you get used to it fast. Second, resolution. Is 4K overkill? Please, that’s what they said about 1080P! More dots = better. Period. And as far as this being a $40,000 “dumb” TV, people need to re-read my initial post: WE BOUGHT IT REFURBISHED. It was only $30,000.

Some of you may think I’m avoiding the “elephant in the room”-the real reason why this was such a heart-wrenching choice. So let’s just get it out there. Yes, the 120 Hz refresh rate is a disappointment, especially on a 4K. But life is full of compromises. And frankly, we hardly notice. All in all, no regrets.

P.S., as for our daughter, NO ONE has the right to question our parenting. Totally out of bounds. Amanda was going into 7th grade, so it was going to be a transitional year anyway. Now she gets to see the world. How many kids her age get to go to Bahrain? I sure as heck didn’t, but you don’t hear me screaming “child abuse.” Bottom line: MYOB! Seriously.

*****

Has it been a year already? Wow! I guess that’s what 8 hours a day of immersive TV will do for you! Many of you have expressed your eagerness for an update. Well, here goes.

Generally, the Samsung has held up beautifully. We have noticed a little bit of lag, mostly in multi-player gaming–but not enough to cost us any firefights. There have been some issues up-imaging low rez content, but that’s to be expected when you early-adopt–we’re still “waiting on the world to change,” as John Mayer would say (gosh he’s talented.) On the plus side, we feel like we are now officially part of the cast of GOT. The other night Peg almost had to open a window to let Daenerys’ dragons fly out!

And you’ll all be happy to know our darling Amanda is back with us, safe and sound. She has changed a little. She’s less talkative than before (though she had some choice words for me when I asked her to clean her room). And she’s started wearing eye make-up, which has Peg a bit concerned. But welcome to thirteen, I guess. We’re just glad to have her home. And she loves the TV. That’s the main thing. In fact, she spends so much time in front of it lately, you’d swear she owns it.

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The John Mayer line killed me.

Thanks to James for the tip


TOPICSAMAZON
TAGSamazon reviewsinternet rascals

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