New Year’s Eve at Times Square (CNN, 9 p.m.) — You know the deal: Anderson Cooper acts like a professional, while Kathy Griffin gets drunk. They’d make a good couple, were it not for…well, y’know.
All American New Year (Fox News, 9 p.m.) — Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Bill Hemmer are scheduled to speak to Duck Dynasty‘s Willie Robertson and his wife Kora live from Jew York City. This can only end well.
Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest (ABC, 10 p.m.) — Seacrest shares hosting duties with Jenny McCarthy and Fergie, and there’s a performance from Miley Cyrus, so, yeah, no.
New Year’s Eve with Carson Daly (NBC, 10 p.m.) — Your annual reminder that Carson Daly still has a talk show on NBC. Jane Lynch co-hosts, Mariah Carey and Blake Shelton sing songs, and you remember this.
New Year’s Eve Live! (Fox, 11 p.m.) — Meanwhile, Fox took out a loan to book Mario Lopez and performers J. Cole, Krewella, New Politics, Killerulez, and Panic! At the Disco. Only one of those band names is fake.
106 & Party (BET, 11 p.m.) — BET promises the “hottest party of the year” with Trey Songz, ASAP Rocky, and Migos. You cut it real close there, BET — I was worried there wouldn’t be a party in 2013 warmer than tepid.
Or if none of those options sound tempting, you can laugh with (at?) Jamie Kennedy’s NYE special again.
Marathons of interest:
-The Twilight Zone (SyFy)
-The Walking Dead (AMC)
-Futurama (Comedy Central)