Anyone who has ever held a position of leadership knows how quickly the power can go to a man’s head. In the case of last night’s episode of Workaholics, though, that man was a woman, and her name is Jillian Belk. Everyone’s favorite female employee of TelAmeriCorp was elected Break Room Czar in “Snackers,” and even though she warned Adam, Blake and Anders that the power would change her for the worse, they ignored the omen and allowed her to wield Alice’s Costco card with authority. They had unleashed a mom-jean-wearing monster on the office, and only they could stop her.
It would take one hell of a diabolical plan to pull off the heist of the century, and just as we’ve come to expect each week, it also took some brand new words for us to add to the Workaholics dictionary and glossary. And “Snackers” actually included one new phrase that made me very happy, because it touched on a very sensitive subject that we’ll get to in just a moment.
It’s when a Human Genius like Karl comes from a long line of plumbers, like his father and grandmother, and the talent of plumbing is passed along with little effort. You should feel lucky to be in the presence of plumbingstock, and you should definitely not try to do his work, lest you wish to have a face full of poop.
It’s what happens when one of your friends becomes famous from being on an episode of Cheaters, and he starts making demands for snacks at the viewing party that you’re throwing for him. If you don’t have that tall can of three kinds of popcorn, you’ll never lock down a starfugger.
It’s certainly not intercourse.
When one man runs for office, you only get the effort of one man. When three men run for office, you get the effort of a Voltron. But Adam, Blake and Ders don’t run for office. They sprint for it, like Usain Boltron.
Those Kat Dennings Upstairs
You’ve got to have them to get anywhere in this world, according to Blake. In the event of an emergency, you can stick two raw chicken cutlets in a bra and it will help provide the image of larger breasts.
It’s what you call it when three dudes are wearing the same matching Kirkland jeans, polos and leather sandals from Costco. It’s how you live that Costco life, son.
“Looking Like a Boss, Though, In My Head-to-Toe Costco”
Similar to Twerkland Fits, this is the feminine version of the phrase, as Jillian wore the Kirkland shirt and jeans.
Ocean’s 11 and 13
It’s a grand scheme, but not like Ocean’s 12. F*ck Ocean’s 12, it was a total misfire. Seriously, though, this is what I was referring to. I watch Ocean’s 12 on cable almost any time that it’s on, not because I like it, but because I’m fascinated at how dumb the Julia Roberts lookalike part is. It causes my head to hurt, and then I have to watch Ocean’s 11 and 13 just to make it all stop. It’s a vicious, endless cycle of pain that I inflict upon myself.
Plain and simple – Fuck ‘em.
The Whole Chicken Poodle
It’s a plan that might fool the old boss lady, but it won’t fool the Break Room Manager. Except, it actually does fool the Break Room Manager, and it allows you to steal all of the snacks for your Cheaters watch party.