If you’re anything like me, you’ve been running around for literally months now accosting strangers in the middle of the street and shouting “WHY ISN’T THERE A MOVIE ABOUT DEAN CAIN, ROBIN GIVENS, AND FREDDY ‘BOOM BOOM’ WASHINGTON FROM WELCOME BACK KOTTER ATTEMPTING TO NAVIGATE A LARGE PASSENGER AIRPLANE THROUGH WHAT APPEARS TO BE A NEAR-APOCALYPTIC VOLCANO ERUPTION?” into their faces until the police show up and force you to stop. Luckily, The Asylum, the studio best known for the 2013 cinematic masterpiece Sharknado, has answered our prayers. Finally. There’s a trailer and everything. And a description. Here, look:
When a commercial airliner is trapped within a ring of erupting volcanoes, the passengers and crew must find a way to survive – without landing.
AIRPLANE VS. VOLCANO! IT’S LIKE SPEED! BUT WITH VOLCANOES! KIND OF! AND DEAN CAIN IS KEANU REEVES NOW!
The only downside here is that, as of right now, it is not scheduled to run on Syfy. Instead, it’s being released for On-Demand streaming only on March 28. This is insane. Not only does it use Syfy’s classic [Thing] Vs. [A Second Thing] title structure, but, I mean, it stars Dean Cain. Have you seen his IMDB page lately? I thought his movies went straight to basic cable, like, by law. This needs to be fixed. If it’s too late for this film, then at least for the sequel, which I assume will blend Cain’s two franchises and be titled The Dog Who Saved The Airplane From The Volcano. It will be perfect.