Here’s Everything You Need To Know About The Rise And Fall Of Burger King’s Subservient Chicken

As I mentioned last week, Burger King announced that it was bringing its Subservient Chicken back — the innovative viral campaign from ten years ago in which a creepy human-sized chicken performed tasks at the request of website visitors. We now have a clearer picture as to why BK has decided to back the mascot with the release of this clip that “catches up” with the Subservient Chicken over the past decade.

In a nutshell, Burger King has a new chicken sandwich to promote called the Chicken Big King, so rather than come up with a new idea they’re trotting back out one that worked before, because nostalgia? Ehh. You could do worse for what is basically a four-and-a-half minute commercial. So here’s a quick rundown of the journey of the Subservient Chicken:

Following his fame back in 2004, the internet — being ever a fickle beast — quickly forgot about the Subservient Chicken, relegating it to perform at birthday parties for ungrateful little b*tches who threw cupcakes at it:

From there, the Subservient Chicken was forced to participate in illegal Mexican cockfighting rings, suffering even a bigger humiliation than getting pummeled by cupcakes from small children: Taking a fall for Dustin Diamond.

After hitting rock bottom, the Subservient Chicken was discovered by a personal trainer who helped the mascot get back into fighting shape:

Now reborn as the Chicken Big King, the Subservient Chicken ain’t got time for you and your dickish demands. I still don’t know what the Chicken Big King sandwich consists of, but if I had to guess it’s probably some some bullsh*t fried chicken patties topped with yellow cheese, mayonnaise-based sauce and iceberg lettuce. Am I right or am I right?

Here’s the whole thing if you care to watch in its entirety:

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